To create new boundaries we must first understand what a boundary is
or looks like.
I often introduce the analogy of a fly screen with my clients when describing
Imagine it’s a hot summers day and there are lots of different types of bugs flying around carrying all kinds of nasties, would you want them in your home ? spreading infectious diseases of course you wouldn’t.
You would want to keep them out and know that you and your family are safe.
Here’s where the protection of a strong, secure fly screen plays its part…
It protects us from insects coming into your home invading personal space by defining a clear boundary. Allowing only the beautiful fresh air to come into your home through the tiny perforations so you choose to let the good stuff in and keep the nasty bugs out – so are you getting this!
Whereas personal and or professional boundaries defines what belongs to you and what belongs to others. Where we end and someone else begins, these are personal boundaries.
Let’s take a look at limits they are like barbed wire the barbed wire of real life.
When you push past your personal, or professional limits there’s a strong possibility that you will cut yourself as you try to get over the barbed wire and compromise those boundaries.
When we begin to learn the art of having boundaries in a secure place, there’s a deeper sense for safety, security and nurturing.
For most of us we have trouble saying ‘no’ and quite often boundaries are discovered at the cost of being pushed over the edge of emotional tolerance, thus creating boundaries in the beginning may be excruciatingly painful when you let others know it’s not alright for them to treat you this way.
This is what we have to learn to do:
Express our needs
Indicate our preferences
Speaking the language of “no” is a good place to start creating new boundaries in our relationships’. This is when you get to practice your Authentic voice…
It’s an act of self-respect because if we always say ‘yes’ to everyone else and no to ourselves, we are denying our intrinsic need for choosing self-love. How often are you seeing yourself respect diminish because you can’t say no to the demands of others.
When we make a stand for owning our truth, letting others know that certain behaviours may not be acceptable and or appropriate and that their expectations may be unreasonable.
In doing so we are in fact freeing them to discover their own paths and towards identifying what is their truth.
Consider some of those relationships that may have unreasonable expectations upon your time, energy, emotional and mental psyche that step on your personal boundaries causing emotional wounds setting you up to be trespassed against over, and over again.
Know that you have a choice pull your fly screen around you and speak up, exercise your voice hear yourself saying ‘no’ notice already how liberating it feels when you express your commitment to make a stand for what you believe. You truly need to keep yourself safe, in mind, body and spirit.
This is your gift to exercise strong, safe and secure boundaries.