We don’t always feel loving or compassionate do we?
Couples often talk about becoming emotionally fired up, and then are hooked in their known pattern of fighting. When these emotions are triggered, to be loving and compassionate can test the intimate relationship and leaves it in doubt.
During those turbulent times of heightened emotions, we can become quite reactive and hurt one another.
Tip one unhook from the emotional journey of the blame game.
Mindset – get into a centeredness way of being ‘the no-blame’ game.
We all want to be in a loving, safe and healthy wholesome intimate relationship, it’s the human condition to want to feel loved and special.
Men are intrinsically wired in the masculine, to meet their life long partner who can carry their seed. While women in her sacred feminine are looking for emotional stability and security, will he be there for me?
Discovering the sacred path to intimacy isn’t always easy, where you might meet many detours along the way.
Finding our way through the complexities of an intimate relationship is a tough gig!
We hit stumbling blocks those being each other in the hitting out from our emotional wounds that we’re busy trying to put band aids on, unsuccessfully.
Self-reflective practice is the key here, sadly this is something not all of us developed in our early childhoods and throughout our developmental teen years.
We can then take old messages into our most intimate relationships. The critical parent leaves you believing that you must be inadequate or having parents that disapproved of you left you feeling ‘I must be a bad person’.
These old unconscious programmes, are running the show in our relationships, often they are obvious whereas the less obvious are those involuntary reactions and when they are operating together it’s much harder to detect.
We blame our partner ‘why are you making me feel this way’ – here your disconnecting from your inner centredness, that loving and compassionate part of yourself.
Let’s begin by taking responsibility for how we show up, here’s where we can practice ‘self-reflection’ being able to respond with self-acceptance, in a calm and contained manner.
Taking your emotional temperature
Being willing to ask yourself ‘what’s really happening here?
Being honest and owning the experience “yes I am really feeling those feelings”
Gently holding our emotions allowing yourselves space to feel what needs to be felt without losing yourself in the emotional reactivity.
#4 – Learning to be present to all those parts of ourselves just as they are then to re-connect to the loving compassionate inner centredness that is the real you!