RELATIONSHIPS ARE THEY STRIVING OR THRIVING?
Updated: Aug 8, 2018
Would you like to know how to get 'unstuck' from power struggles?
Are you seeing conflicts with siblings and or between you and your partner over the pressures & responsibilities of raising a family, whilst juggling multiple other roles?
Would it be inspiring to find ways of 'how' to sustain love, passion, and Romance?
Relationship Counselling provides you with a First Aid Kit full of secret Ingredients to invite you to move from Reactivity to Creative Solutions and... Supporting each other's growth, and success.
Discover self-mastery through self-regulation techniques to help you argue less and have more win-wins through mutual agreement instead of entering into a 'lock-down' blame game.
Relationship counselling will transform human bonds and connection into something deeply intimate, from conflicts to harmony between you and your partner - parents - family - siblings and colleagues.
To become more equipped with tools for every unique relationship.
"Together we can choose to create a healthy lifestyle and magnificent lives".
When I see clients I notice that there’s an unseen competition they each want to be right rather than happy and yet in the early heady romantic days of initial infatuation it was more important to be happy. We may experience the best pleasurable feelings of excitement, joy, happiness, feeling loved, with a deep sense of belonging. You might say you’re in a state of ‘ecstasy’.
We behave as our best selves and equally we see our beloved as their most wonderful best behaved self. Love at this early magical phase is euphoric, a wonderful mystical experience between lovers both enjoying each other and the physical intimacy.
Then all too often this fairy-tale experience fades away and is replaced all too quickly by power struggles, conflict and strife (striving).
The added responsibilities of life’s demands, juggling work, careers, study, raising families, health issues, financial stress, sexuality, low self-esteem ‘phew’ it’s no wonder that relationships lose their flavour, passion, curiosity and magical wonder and where often the uninvited guest of boredom creeps in.
Most people experience triggers in this ‘uncomfortable’ phase illuminating those deep rooted core hurts and beliefs. The beauty of being in a relationship is where the real work begins and for most of us, we always thought certain behaviours were a permanent part of us, but with self-awareness and awareness of others the renewed insights invites you to move through the power struggles. To a place of respect and positive regard with each owning and taking responsibility to change their behaviours.
We argue over whose right and whose wrong, core beliefs are triggered and may lead to strife and an unhappy life. Arguing is more about the stories we buy into attempting to drag others in with us, projecting deeply held beliefs, ideas, thoughts, causing disconnect in relationships.
Escalating fights and arguments will see people getting stuck and often is the main reason individuals, couples come for counselling when in crisis and conflict. You may find yourself in the danger zone as you attack each other this is a breeding ground for character assassination and counter attack, whose belief, or experience is right or wrong? to whose ‘self’ is right or wrong ?
How does a relationship recover from this?
I often invite couples, individuals or teens to be prepared to commit too letting go of being right and an attitude of self-entitlement, but rather being prepared to accept individual difference, authenticity, choice, emotional correction and self-awareness.
It’s a commitment to choose happiness and not entitlement to being right and more about thriving and moving away from striving, while fully committing to personal happiness and to your partners happiness. Letting go of accusations, contempt, anger, rage, bitterness, blame and instead embracing intimacy, passion, and an ever deepening of loving bonds as you each discover how to love again.