top of page
  • Writer's pictureinspiredirection


Real Life is a journey of self-actualization within clinical terms is an active tendency or an innate drive within each of us driving us forwards to maintain, and enhance our sense of self. 

But what part of ‘self’?


Carl Rogers was the Grand Master behind Person Cantered Therapy – he believed “that infants perceived their experiences as reality, operating from their internal frame of reference, and ‘unencumbered’ by the evaluations of others” Carl Rogers

How do we as adults become so influenced by the approval or disapproval of others?

We have many parts of self

  • The Social Self

  • The False Self

  • The True Self

These many parts develop or are influenced when we interact with significant others !

Our environment influences the many parts of self – parents, teachers, siblings, friends, society, social media etc…

Often we tend to ignore, minimise, dilute our own feelings of our True Self as we seek to find outside approval and validation from others.

When we are looking for outside approval or our avoidance of disapproval, self-concept is then conditioned so is conditional on the behaviours we receive from others good or bad.

I am sure like myself you have felt unworthy or not good enough at times and certainly in significant relationships and other environments’ ?

You may feel as if it’s your fault or that you’re going crazy and that there must be something wrong with you?

You might only feel of worth and accepted if others are approving of you?

When their approval is not experienced only to be met with disapproval then we may internalise our pain and perceive that we are unacceptable also unworthy of receiving and giving love…

Restoring self-worth and unconditional regard for ourselves is a journey of self-growth, through learning that our worth is not based on the approval or disapproval of others is it ?

I know that you also really know this truth about yourself already don’t you ?

Notice the internal dialogue that pops up when you feel that someone doesn’t like you or appears to disapprove of you.

You may self-blame and self-sabotage

Know that - You are not a mistake and you’re not wrong, trust your inner intuition as you move closer to these strong, silenced and often uncomfortable feelings – remaining true to self.

Be curious, be creative, be resourceful, build upon positive self-growth! Grow stronger from the experience having stayed in the emotional fire you will have grown stronger and more resilient.

Recognise your inner strengths as you choose to discover and uncover self-worth, self-value and self enoughness…

It is our duty and God given birth right to enhance, enrich, a positive sense of

self-acceptance experiencing a greater self and personal empowerment through independence positive interaction with others and personal growth…

  • Act on Your Own Terms

  • Accept Yourself

  • Own the many parts of self

The only persons approval you need is ‘self-Approval’

If this message has touched you in some way and you feel that professional help will enrich your life as you gain more understanding, of your story and experience.

Contact Nicola for your free consultation.

9 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page