One of the easiest ways to keep going through emotional pain is to first be in denial of its existence.
Many of us experience emotional, and physical pain but we simply choose to deny the stress, pain and grief.
We may act outwardly as if we are doing fine, when in reality we are really hurting and struggling.
To everyone who knows us or is close to us, they see that there is clearly a problem, but we insist that “actually we are doing fine there’s nothing wrong so stop worrying”
Have you been here ? I know I have witnessed family members and friends also colleagues, clients and even strangers and can include myself in this “I have been there”.
We may all slip into a make believe act that this habit we pick up to pretend that we are ok when in reality we are far from being ok.
It’s a-bit like slipping into a cupboard and staying out of sight, I have also done this in my childhood thinking or even maybe hoping I was invisible, and also still sometimes as an adult.
Have you ?.
Or putting your head under the blanket, burying your head in the sand. I am sure your aware of these old sayings, but they do carry some truths. It’s a lot like we are wearing a camouflage outfit or wearing a mask, being in denial of our pain, we pretend to the outside world that life is perfectly wonderful don’t we? When in reality life is far from being wonderful. Wearing the mask or masks, we will do anything to disguise our pain and not let anyone in to see our real pain.
Is this true for you?
If we choose to stay here we will surely slip into a world of ‘unreality’ – we may slip into a pool eventually covered by a sheet of ice. When we bury our pain with concrete similar to the sheet of ice there are months maybe years of layer upon layer of pain covered up.
But we have tears which have a silent voice and tell their own secret stories.
I love tears and honour every client who allows their vulnerability to show through the mask of tears.
I invite my clients to express what the tears are saying.
I reflect upon the simplicity of prayer recited from the twelve steps program
The Serenity Prayer
“God give us the Grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed.
Courage to change the things that can be changed
And the wisdom to know the difference”
We are each responsible to change the things we can change and to have the wisdom to know the difference of the things we cannot change.
And what we will gain is inner peace when first we seek to know ‘serenity’ through surrender.